Hello, Nick Speaking …

As you may be aware, the US-based PST has issued a challenge to the PSA whereby their respective champions or representatives play in a challenge match or two.

There’s been a bit of a debate on this on our Let’s Talk forum …

Here’s the thread
and here’s the Original PST Challenge

But we couldn’t resist copying this latest post from forum regular “Prophet“.

Image

Brriing brriing…. Brriing brriing….Brriing brriing

NM: Hello, Nick speaking.

AG: Oh hi Nick, Alex Gough here. Sorry to bother you right now, I know that you’re over in Egypt playing the world’s best players over the next few days but I thought you should be made aware of something. It’s all over the internet. You’ve been challenged by the PST Crew.

NM: The who?

AG: No, not The Who, that’s an English rock band formed in 1964 by Roger Daltrey, Pete Townsend,
John Entwistle and the legendary Keith Moon.

NM: No, I meant who is PST?

AG: Oh sorry, silly me, just had a blonde moment. It’s the Professional Squash Tour.

NM: Isn’t that us, the squash touring professionals?

AG: Well yeah… but no… but yeah… but no… but yeah… but no… but yeah… but no ‘cause they only play in America.

NM: But I distinctly recall playing in America in February, at the North American Open. So it is us then.

AG: No Nick, this is a completely different group of professionals.

NM: Really! What makes them different?

AG: They play a different kind of squash. It’s called ‘No Lets’ squash.

NM: Hmm…‘No Lets’ squash eh…You winding me up?

AG: No no Nick, it’s straight up.

NM: Playing without lets. Isn’t that a little bit dangerous?

AG: Well I’m sure it would be but as I understand it they do call lets in dangerous situations.

NM: So… they call it ‘No lets’ squash but they actually call lets. Isn’t that slightly disingenuous/misleading/dishonest?

AG: Probably.

NM: So why do they call it ‘No lets’ squash when they actually call lets?

AG: Erm…… well…… er……

NM: Never mind, skip that one. So what’s in it for me?

AG: Well, let me see. You might get to play the PST World champion.

NM: You what!!! But I’m the World champion. How can there be another World champion.

AG: Well, the PST calls the winner of their tour the PST World champion.

NM: You are winding me up. That’s completely loony….. Oh never mind. So, who’s likely to be this alternative ‘World’ champion then?

AG: Er… David Palmer.

NM: David Palmer!!! The only David Palmer I know is Australian David Palmer who retired after the World Open in Rotterdam and then cleared off to the States to earn some cash playing in some tinpot………. Oh! So it is David Palmer.

AG: Yes Nick

NM: With all respect to Dave I beat him at least on the last three occasions we played, all in 2011, and when he retired I was World #1 whilst he was World #9. So, at the risk of sounding repetitive, what’s in it for me?

AG: Well, PST Commissioner ‘Dodgy’ Joe McManus expects it would be “the single most anticipated match of the era” on a par with the Ali vs Frazier Thrilla’ in Manilla heavy weight fight in ‘75, the whole squash watching public want it to happen and you might even get to try out ‘No lets’ squash. So Nick, what do you think?

NM:

AG: Did you hear me Nick?

NM:

AG: Hello Nick, are you still there Nick? Hello Nick, hello, hello…..

 

Here’s the Let’s Talk thread
and here’s the Original PST Challenge

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9 comments

  1. Had me going up until Nick used the word “disingenuous”!

  2. Squash is among the greatest of sports, played by some of the World’s finest athletes. Both deserve better than this tidbit of useless information. Why not spend a little less time slinging mud back and forth across the Atlantic, and concentrate on what’s really important?

    • Yes Ian, let’s concentrate on what’s really important. But hold on…. many different things in life are really important to many different people. So… whose really important things do you suggest we concentrate on first?

      I think you need to get out more. That, or think before putting your proverbial pen to paper.

      • To clear the record, my comments were made in context to the sport of squash.

        I get out enough to know that squash can ill afford petty arguments while the sport is fighting a very public battle for inclusion into the Olympic Games. It all seems very counter-productive. So my recommendation would be to concentrate efforts where they matter most – the Olympics.

        I hope that clears up my point of view.

        • Clearly satire flies straight over your head.

          “So my recommendation would be to concentrate efforts where they matter most – the Olympics.”

          I refer you to my response to a certain, hanoisquash, given at Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:50 pm in the following thread

          http://squash.me.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=256&start=25

          • Clearly… perhaps the famous adage that it is better to keep silent and be thought a fool rather than to speak and remove all doubt best suits your contribution to this discussion.

  3. Loved this line:

    “NM: So… they call it ‘No lets’ squash but they actually call lets. Isn’t that slightly disingenuous/misleading/dishonest?

    AG: Probably.”

  4. What ever next, as a non interested cricket lover, i cant imagen anyone who is, having a group of our friends across the pond coming in with ideas on how there thought it would better in playing a sport, thats been around 200+ years my bringing in a challenge match using both sets of rules for a different type of game,
    The PST is like some sort of regular set up in the states where its ” best on playing our league as its the one and only, a bit like World series baseball one country using a term for one country sport i rest my case

  5. To Ian (Tue 1 May 2012 at 16:12)
    So a personal insult,:

    the last resort of an exhausted mind

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